Sterile Mouse

In kindergarten, my dad always encouraged me to do things out of the ordinary. One time he told me to say “Yes sir!” whenever my female teacher requested anything of me. That got me sent to the principal’s office after my second time doing it. This time though, I may have destroyed a couple lives that were to come. We were at Chuck E. Cheeses for a birthday party, and Chuck E. had just come out for the celebration. He marched around in his suit, and had the most obnoxious music I’ve ever heard playing in the background. All the children swarmed around him, except for me. I just stood back and observed. After about 15 minutes of celebration, my dad yelled “Now everyone attack Chuck E.!!” I was all in for that, so I charged him and kicked him right where the sun doesn’t shine. The kids gasped. Chuck E. maintained that smile that had been sewn on as he doubled over. I puffed my chest out in triumph, as if I had just taken down Castro. My dad was incredibly apologetic, and tipped the mascot heavily. Now that I think about it, I totally could’ve pulled shit like this all I wanted when I was a kid. It makes me want to be that young again, I dropped a mascot like a sack of potatoes, yet I didn’t get kicked out or even punished at all. If I could relive my childhood, I’d take everything literally. I’ll tell my kids to do ridiculous stuff, they’ll only get in trouble if it’s me giving them consequences, and they can live every moment to make memories.